This particular thing, which I’m going to tell you today, was never even a subject of concern for me all this time…. In the past few months, observing some of the incidents that happened to some of the people around me and hearing about such incidents, I began to wonder about this particular topic. “The impact of age difference in a relationship”... Well.. this is not the ordinary case of the guy being older than the girl. It’s the other way around… er.. yeah.. the guy being younger than the girl. But first.. let me share some stories with you.Case 1 : It’s about this uncle and the aunt of one of my school friends. Her uncle is 10 years younger than her aunty. This came as a big surprise to me.. something like.. um.. abnormal to be precise. So I wanted to dig into this story a little more. When I asked, “There are no problems among them cz of their age difference?”….she said… “my uncle is a very handsome man and you can’t even tell his age just by looking at him.. He looks much younger for his age. But my aunty looks much older than her real age even. So when they’re walking side by side, it’s like son and mom walking! Uncle is a very social person, so when he hangs around the women of his age… my aunt always suspects him.. She’s completely jealous!”. Well… that’s case 1.
Case 2 : My sister has a friend in her university, whose having a relationship with a guy, 2 years junior to her. Neither the guy’s or girl’s parents know about their affair, but they both are worried whether their age difference will be a problem to their parents.
Case 3 : Back in the campus, there was a couple.. the girl was 2 years older than the guy. It went well, from what I heard, and their parents too approved it. No problem there!
Case 4 : One of my friends… a guy, is in love with a girl, 3 years senior to him. The girl’s mother already knows about it. But this time, the girl is worried whether the guy’s parents will approve her or not.
Case 5 : Another friend of mine, a guy this time too.. has fallen for this particular girl, in his workplace. They were so close… they call each other.. sms.. chat…go here and there together.. But my friend, the guy, didn’t declare his feelings to her, the ONLY reason.. she being older than him in 2 years. He told me that he has felt that the girl loved him too.. What he said was “maybe she also pulled back cz I was younger than her..”.. So.. after some time, the girl got married to an older guy… and my friend is still single. Sad story, ha?
Case 6 : This time.. it’s about a girl.. who fell in love with a guy, 3 years junior to her. She was like .. “oh.. wow.. “ over this guy. I saw the guy.. and he was actually quite a bit matured looking for his age. One day.. during a casual conversation.. he has told her.. “I would actually ask you out if you were just 1 or 2 years older than me.. Bad luck! You’re 3 years older than me.. out of bound already! Hard luck for me!” It was supposed to be a joke, but it has broken her heart. The girl… a friend of a good friend of mine… has related the whole story to my friend.. and in the end.. she has asked.. “Why? Why? Why..? Why does age matter?” and she was crying.
Why? That’s a good question, isn’t it? When I asked for the opinions of my friends.. what most of them said was “at this time.. the girl being 1 or 2 years older than the guy, is not a big deal at all! It’s 2008!” Some said… “Sometimes it will lead to problems. Imagine the girl saying ‘hey, I’m older than you.. lived longer than you… have more experience in life than you.. so you better take my opinion on this’.. well.. it will raise problems.” Some also said “When the girl is very much older than the guy.. and when they get older, it starts to show clearly. A jealousy will come between the two by then.. by the female counterpart that is.. And for the man.. there will be a possibility of him being attracted to younger women.. and that.. would go much further even”
What do you think guys? What’s your opinion on this? In western countries, there’s no such problem I guess.. in most countries maybe. In them, women and men are mostly treated as equals. In Asian countries, we’re firmly into the weaker sex – stronger sex criteria, where the man is treated as the decision maker.. the protector.. the main source of income of the family.. etc. Maybe this ‘guy should be older than the girl’ theory is based on this.. or is it? Honestly.. with me, I have only this theory. On the other hand.. love is not based on any theories or boundaries. Love is just love. So.. I can’t honestly say what’s wrong.. what’s right or… whether it doesn’t matter at all. Perhaps you guys can tell me more. I’d like to hear your opinion too.
6 comments:
First of all I need to say this article is really interesting and focused to important subject about youth generation. Some of my friends have this same problem, but most of them are forget about that age deference’s and get married. I feel this author have some experience like that. Nice work buddy.
LOSHAN
Hey.. Dj..
Reading that comment made by Loshan.. if he thinkgs that u r a Guy.. wel.. then.. he is wrong.. nyways.. i do agre wth him on u mst hv sm exprnc lyk that.. Hey.. Dj.. R U FALLING FOR MY BRO ?? hMm.. now i wonder.. My dear best frnd.. u can 4gt if u r (hik hik) .. he is all taken by the gals at the BANK ! Nywys wt u v wrote is pretty intrstng.. my other bro.. who hs the 'Woman" is living his life Happily (ahem) wth his gal.. ok. they fyt most of the time.. bt they r together ryt.. after all "Hitha Giya thaena Maligawa lu" so let it be that way..
Hi Kemali,
Though I don't agree with you on some of the views expressed in this blog, I think this is not the time for those issues. I too am someone who is looking for a girl to marry. I too suggested to my parents, among several other girls, a girl who is six years older than me and from a very different cultural background. They refused.
Later on I learned that choosing a partner in SL is not as so easy as in western countries or middle east countries. One person is restricted to one person. Polygamy is odd here, and divorce is a nightmare. So, when you make a choice, you have to make it perfect because you have to stick to it for the rest of the life, whether you like it or not.
You may be a person who doesn't want to restrict yourself by the society. Though you would like to bridge the gaps and cross the borders, the very idea itself reminds us that there are borders. Believe me, those borders are very risky.
So, people tend to recommend the risk-mitigated, empirically proven model. Let me list some of my observations, and I hope if you put them together and do some headwork, you will clearly understand the issue.
* Most ladies pay attention to their children more than the husband during motherhood.
* They also retain less interest in sexual activities in later stages, and show completely different behaviour after monopause.
* Males on the other hand do not go through such complications. (It is not weaker sex, stronger sex thing, it is biology)
* Kemali, not every love story is a success.
* There is no rule saying that love will come only once in life.
* Mere love is not enough for a successful family life.
* There are so many untold stories, especially after marriage incidents.
If somebody is not so serious in being honest to the partner, I would advice them to do as they wish. No rules do they have, thus no rules can they break. If you are not such a person, don't take risks. Take my words, the other side of the mainstream is not so safe, esp in this particular case.
hey i got ur URL from facebook..Really I like to your blogings. Those are very interested and you are discussing it in timely. In here I can agree with your opinion in some extend but not perfectly. Since because if those who are in different age gap falling with love without knowing what is love and just shake of any other necessity, by the time being they are finding reasons to breaking their affair. Then that age difference may be direct issue. So most important thing is understandability and meaning of word called love. It is not just 4 characters. If those who understand that then, why they bother about age. Your scenario is highly compatible with that case.
It matters. I mean "MATTERS". but not all d time. It changes according to the situation. Uncle who married 10 years older aunt is a real prob, isnt it? But 2-3 years is kinda ok, but again according to d situ for sure.
Case 7: girl is lovely, kind, full of LOVE and looking soooo good(sadly she doesn't agree), and the boy is also not bad ;), and they will marry soon (very soon) and definitely they will live happily ever after...
Post a Comment