HAPPY NEW YEAR, EVERYBODY..!!

Let me wish you all of you out there a happy new year first! Ahem.. WISHING ALL OF YOU A HAPPY, PEACEFUL AND A PROSPEROUS NEW YEAR from all my heart! Hope it’s been a really good one for all of you! It should be, since the war is almost ending and there are not many troubles around to be worried about.

Well… As for me, still the cloud is there, and my new year was an average one. But as in every new year, for all of us at home, it was a good one. We have the new year spirit all over the house. Most people don’t make Awurudu food at home, one – it’s time consuming, and two – they don’t know. The good thing is.. we at home.. we know how to. So.. for every new year, we make various kinds of tasty sweets. Let me list down… There were konda kewum.. athirasa… mung kewum.. weli thalapa.. undu wel.. kokis.. butter cake.. chocolate swiss rolls… bananas.. kiribath and murukku. That makes 11. This is the part I love the most about celebrating the New Year at home!

Everybody should know something to pass to the next generation… traditions in particular. Traditional food counts too.. So here we are, my parents passing the traditions to us! So… the picture here is… home made undu wel..!! Waters your mouth, I’m sure.. They sure were a lot tastier than they seem!

CLOUD OVER MY HEAD....

It’s supposed to be the day before the New Year. Well.. in fact, it IS the day before the New Year. I waked up with this cloud upon my head again. For the past few weeks, it was walking with me… right over my head, just like a halo. Sometimes the cloud makes rain, but at all other times, it’s dark. I guess we all have times like this. Sometimes strange thoughts cross your mind.. Well… for me, strange thoughts always cross my mind.

In fact, this morning, when I was sitting and thinking, I wish there was a self- activated pen which can write my thoughts on a paper, reading my thoughts. Just like Rita Skeeter’s magical pen from the Harry Potter movie. How easy would it be! So that I don’t have to tell everybody how I feel about them as and when I want. Everybody around the house is busy.. Nah.. I’m not that enthusiastic this time. But I help around the house, help to prepare food and help them to cook. That New Year spirit is not there for me. Last time, I had a superb one. I even put some pics on FB. This time, I find myself wondering and eating some kinda exotic cheese out of tins.

I wanted to call up my two best friends. She : She must be busy now. Him : nah! That cloud starts rain again! Sometimes I talk gibberish and write gibberish. For those who read my blog, well… excuse me for this one. I’ll find something interesting to write when the cloud is gone. So.. gibberish, in the sense.. I was thinking what I was doing all morning.

I found some unaligned layouts in my blog. I don’t remember how it happened. So I was trying to correct it. Damn this HTML! Then I counted how many movies I have downloaded for the past couple of months. I counted more than 200. Crazy nut, I am. To fit the cloud upon my head, I wanted to watch a gloomy movie. I guess you know that I watch horror. So, I’m downloading ‘The Unborn’. My best friend said it’s absolutely horrific. So.. Wanna try that one out too…

Well guys, lunch is ready, I guess.. I’ll just go. I’ll come before the New Year to wish you all..!!

UNCONDITIONAL.....

How painful life can be? One moment, you’re the happiest person in the world… and the next moment, it all turns to dust and ashes… I think when you love someone, no matter if it’s a friend or the one you’re in love with… that love.. should always be unconditional. There are no rules in love… and if someone says love is conditional?? Do you agree with it or not?

I’m going through the darkest days in my life, and even for a single moment, I just can’t come out of this pain. You love someone unconditionally.. and you get that love back.. shown unconditionally… but told as conditional. Take you over the moon with so much love.. hope…. Happiness.. and the next moment, you’re down in the ground. How painful can it be?

Just because the other person doesn’t love you the same way don’t mean that you can’t love them the way you want. So many memories… so much love…. and when I held that hand, we promised each other not to let go. I didn’t want to. Not even now.. cz no matter what happened. ( Well… I needed to EDIT my post, upon someone’s comments, the someone being the person relevant to this post ) No. It was unconditional. Now the air is gone… and my blood has gone cold, and I live like a zombie.

If someone says they love you so very much, no matter what happens, they’ll never leave you. That lesson, I learned well. If they really love you and want you, they’ll just ignore everything else and.. they’ll just have you. The truth is… they don’t try hard enough. What does it mean, I wonder? I’ve seen this in my life, and now only I have realized it.

When you love somebody, no matter what happens.. they can’t just go away from your life….. They just live in your heart till the day you die. Things will never be the same again, ever. ( Removed the rest )


And there it goes… in the picture. It’s me and my teddy. It’s special, I’d say.. ( Edited )

Bottom line : You can never hate somebody you loved so much.

UNMISTAKABLE.... BSB

[Brian:]

Anytime, anywhere, anyplace
You could be anyone today
Maybe I would recognize you On a crowded street

[AJ:]
Maybe you'll take me by surprise
Will you be the one I had in mind

[Chorus (emphasis on AJ):]
There'll come a day
When you'll walk out of my dreams
Face to face
Like I'm imagining
Baby how can I be sure
That you're the one I'm waiting for
Will you be unmistakable

[AJ:]
Unmistakable

[Nick:]
People say we're watching our lives
Through a glass
Desperately waiting on a chance
I know you're out there
Holding on, holding out for me

[AJ:]
How are we to know the time is right
What if you're here and I'm just blind

[Repeat Chorus (emphasis on Nick)]

[Nick:]
How can I know a song I never heard
How will I know your voice
When you haven't said a word

[AJ:]
How do I know how this will end
Before we begin

[Nick:]
Before we begin

[Howie:]
There'll come a day
When you walk out of my dreams

[All:]
Face to face (face to face)
Like I'm imagining (Like I'm imagining)
Baby, how can I be sure (how can I be sure)
That you're the one I'm waiting for (You're the one I'm waiting for)
Will you be (will you be)
Will you be (will you be)

[AJ:]
Unmistakable
Unmistakable

I FELT THE WAR.....

I don’t know whether I was lucky or unlucky; but I managed to live through the last 3 weeks… which was the darkest nightmare in my entire life. I needed to get away with all my pains and look for a change. As I planned some time ago, I decided it’s the best time to go to Anuradhapura. Not a trip or anything. I seriously needed a distraction and to focus on something really good. Nadee akka is like my own family.

She lives in Anuradhapura, where her beloved hubby, Prasanna ayya fights with tigers in North. He was a Captain and recently, he got promoted as a Major.. Well.. I’m not very good with their ranks, but this is what Nadee akka told me. The most horrific battles are happening these days in Mulativu. He was in the 2nd frontline. While having an officers meeting, they have been hit by a mortar.

One piece of metal has pierced through his body, right under his left armpit. It has come out from his chest, barely saving the heart by one and a half inches. His left arm was broken and the joint of the arm was crushed. He was injured in a bad way. As soon as we heard the news, we immediately went to the Army Hospital in Anuradhapura to see him. I just can’t explain the situation there. First I was so upset, so that I sat for a while and waited. Then I started to walk through all the wards, looking at the injured soldiers.

What I saw was unimaginable. Legs… arms, cut… horrible burns…. Blinded… bleeding… blood… broken ribs… life saving machines…. Crying wives…. Crying children, hugging their fathers and brothers… Sigh… Me telling you all this, is useless.. You should… I mean really really SHOULD go and see for yourself. Then only you’ll realize how it feels like, my friends.

Last Friday, I left for Anuradhapura in the intercity train in the evening, with Nadee akka’s mom. The train reached there within 4 hours. For the next 3 days, we had plenty to do. The hospital allows visitors to see their patients 3 times a day. Each time lasts for 2 hours. Counting it all, we can stay in the hospital for 6 hours a day. Prasanna ayya was getting a little better. For his 3 meals, we prepare the things he loves to eat. But most of the time, most patients don’t get that attention. Most of their family members live far away, so they can’t come everyday. They don’t get the love and the care they need when it is needed the most. They cry…. But they like if there’s anyone to talk to them.

I seriously needed to do something for them. But they get all the things they need from whatever welfare societies here and there. So what I did was, talking to them as much as I can, and helping them in whatever way I can. I felt the war when I was there… People just listen to the news and they’re just happy that the war is ending… But do they really FEEL the war…?? Well.. let me tell you how I felt it.

Nadee akka’s home is just near the 4th Signal Regiment’s army base, which is also next to the Airport base. You don’t hear busses… you don’t hear cars… You only hear helicopters… They just.. come and come.. endlessly. When the sound of the helicopters stops, then you start to hear ambulances. 10 ambulances pass you by, but only one of them is alarming the siren to make way. After a moment, the van from the hospital heads the same way to bring bodies to the hospital. This is what’s happening in Anuradhapura right now.

For the injured soldiers in Prasanna ayya’s ward, I became a familiar face, after one or two visits. Then I went ahead and talked with most of them. Let me tell you one story. The soldier who was next to Prasanna ayya’s bed.

Name: Sampath.
Age: 27
Birthplace: kuliyapitiya
Nature of the injury: Left leg, cut below the ankle… right leg, fully burnt…
Cause: Landmine

He was injured in Puthukkudiyirippu, the LTTE war zone. He has remembered his friend carrying him and running to the helicopter. Two days later, he has waked up in the hospital to find his friend lying two beds away from him, one eye blinded. He showed his friend to me. I fed his several times. He was crying a lot cz his legs were paining. I confronted him telling him how lucky he is to live. This was one incident, friends. There are many tragic stories I can tell you now… But let me not be the one to tell it all to you. Just go there, friends. Help them. This is the moment they need you the most. At least I’m glad that I spent a few days helping them as much as I can.

NUMB.. NULL... VOID AND EMPTY....

For minutes, I’m keeping my fingertips on the keyboard, thinking what to write. My mind is numb.. null… void and empty. I lived to see the darkest day of my life. The one you trust the most… the one you love the most.. broke your heart into million pieces, so that you’re left alone, collecting those pieces your entire life.

It’s impossible… For everyone around me, it’s unbelievable. But the one who says that they care for you the most.. and love you the most… can burn your life into dust in a few seconds… I’m still thinking why??? I just can’t figure out why. Friendship…?? Love..?? Happiness..?? Trust..?? How soon can they disappear?

Life is lifeless now.. You just live cz you’re alive. One day all the pains will go away. By then, it’s too late. I just wanted to thank all my friends for being there with me in the most difficult moment in my life. Love you all. Angels exist in this world? I doubt now. But good friend do. Thanks a lot my dear friends.

I WATCHED TWILIGHT...

It’s a different movie.. and it’s a different storyline. Since the day the movie was out, I so much wanted to watch it. But I waited till a good copy appeared in my familiar Torrent site. Downloaded it a few hours ago… and finished watching it just now. I just loved it.

It’s a story about a teenage girl who falls in love with a vampire. This girl, Bella Swan has always been a little bit different. Never one to run with the crowd, Bella never cares about fitting in with the trendy, plastic girls at her Phoenix, Arizona high school. When her mother remarried and Bella chooses to live with her father in the rainy little town of Forks, Washington, she didn't expect much of anything to change. But things do change when she meets the mysterious and dazzlingly beautiful Edward Cullen. For Edward is nothing like any boy she's ever met. He's nothing like anyone she's ever met, period. He's intelligent and witty, and he seems to see straight into her soul.

In no time at all, they are swept up in a passionate and decidedly unorthodox romance - unorthodox because Edward really isn't like the other boys. He can run faster than a mountain lion. He can stop a moving car with his bare hands. Oh, and he hasn't aged since 1918. Like all vampires, he's immortal. That's right - vampire. But he doesn't have fangs - that's just in the movies. And he doesn't drink human blood, though Edward and his family are unique among vampires in that lifestyle choice. To Edward, Bella is that thing he has waited 90 years for - a soul mate. But the closer they get, the more Edward must struggle to resist the primal pull of her scent, which could send him into an uncontrollable frenzy

That’s some part of the story. Kristen Stewart is Bella Swan and the handsome vampire, Edward is Robert Pattinson. The moment you see him, you’ll recognize who he is. He’s Cedric Diggory from the Harry Potter movies. In the 4th movie, he’s the one who competes till the end I the Triwizard tournament. Yes.. the handsome one.

Now they’re filming the sequel of this movie; The Twilight Saga: New Moon and it will be out on 20th November 2009. Just for the record.. You’ll like the movie, I’m sure. So don’t miss it. The soundtrack on the movie is great too.. I loved the song “Decode” by Paramore..

Bella: You’re impossibly fast and strong. Your skin is pale white and ice cold. Your eyes change colour and sometimes you speak like.. like you’re from a different time. You never eat or drink anything; you don’t go out in the sunlight. How old are you?

Edward: Seventeen….
Bella: How long you’ve been seventeen?
Edward: A while…

Bella: I know what you are…
Edward: Say it… out loud. Say it..
Bella: Vampire…
Edward: Are you afraid?
Bella: No..

Edward: Then ask me the most basic question. What do we eat?
Bella: You won’t hurt me…